6 years ago

Six years ago this morning I got a call at 5:55am. Roger had already left for the airport to fly to Texas for Conlave. I was catching a little more sleep before heading to work myself. I answered the phone and heard Faye, my sweet mother-in-law, ask to speak to Roger. Then she told me that Roger's dad had a heart attack and died. The next hour was a blur - well, the whole week was kind of a blur. But here are some memories of that time that consistently run through my mind.

I remember exactly what clothes I put on. I've wore those clothes several times since then and always think back to that morning.
Faye had called one of Roger's best friends, Bryan Fister, and I literally had 5 minutes before Fister was ringing the doorbell. I remember walking around the house looking for a box of tissues. I was very concerned with making sure there was a box of tissues out on the counter.
It took me a few minutes to get in touch with Roger. I felt frantic to catch him before his plane left. And then I had no idea what to say. should I tell him? what do i say? i remember standing in the front yard when I finally got him on the phone. "You need to call your mom. Something's happened to your dad". I still don't know if that was the best thing to say.
Randy Hall showed up about that time and was headed to the airport. I told him to hold off b/c Roger was coming back this way. Then Randy and Fister came inside and waited with me. I'm not sure what we talked about. I think I called my parents. Faye had already called them. I called my siblings. I don't remember what I said.
I remember walking out to the driveway when Roger arrived home and seeing his eyes red & puffy. I did not know what to say. I loved him so much.
About that time Donnie Arrant, one of the pastors from Brook Hills and a longtime friend, showed up. I remember standing in the top of the driveway and just hearing him say he was praying for us.
I remember Roger walking inside and talking with Fister and Randy. I felt grateful that he had men in his life at that moment to be with him.
I remember talking to Gretchen and asking her to call my doctor and try to get us an appointment. I was 16 days from Sterling's birth and officially grounded. We needed clearance to leave town. I remember feeling so grateful that she took care of that and got us an appointment. She also drove over and helped me pack. I remember standing in the bathroom trying to do my hair and shaking. Literally shaking. I did not know what to do.
I remember Roger talking on the phone to Chad and Wendy Norris and telling them that Doc had passed. I remember Roger making a joke about how at least his dad got to see Tennessee beat Georgia that weekend. I remember Chad telling Roger that he would pack right away and meet him.
I remember seeing Dr. Gunnells that morning and how compassionate he was with us. We did not previously have that impression of him, but he was a tender, calming word for us that morning. I will forever be grateful for how assured he made us feel about going. And he said if you go into labor then go to the hospital in Knoxville and have them call us and we'll send them all your information. it'll be just fine. it's most important than you go and be with your husband.
I remember getting lunch on the road at a Hardees or something, and Roger barely being able to order because his phone was ringing off the hook.
I remember Fister and Chad driving to Knoxville and meeting us there. they stayed the whole week at a nearby hotel. just to be there.
I remember arriving at Faye's house and the way Roger hugged his mom. I remember sitting on her couch and hearing her recount the night's events. there was such disbelief in her voice.
i remember roger going through all his dad's home office trying to find important papers. i remember calling the cell phone company to have his number disconnected.
i remember helping write the obituary. i remember sitting at the funeral home with Rog and his mom while they make lots of decisions. i remember feeling so sad for them.
i remember riding around with fister, chad and roger while we tried to buy roger a suit. and us combing the stores for a guestbook for the funeral home.
i remember calling my brother and asking him to sing. i remember that being important to roger and faye.
i remember washing clothes and organizing our luggage downstairs so Roger and his mom could have some time to talk and cry together. i remember doing my best to take care of myself and my unborn son so that roger didn't have to worry about me.
i remember sitting on the couch and roger laying his head on my belly and crying. he was talking to the baby and saying how sorry he was that he would never know Doc. it's one of the most helpless feelings i've had in my life.
i remember gretchen and callie telling me that i had on two different knee highs at the funeral home. and then callie driving around Oak Ridge trying to find me matching tights before the funeral started. navy blue and black look the same in a dimly lit room. especially when i can't see my feet too well.
i remember friends and family who drove 4+ hours just to be with us for an hour during the funeral. i remember some not even getting to stay for the funeral but drove just to hug our necks in the visitation line.
i remember nurses that took off their lunch hour to come to visitation. i remember being so proud of Doc and how he cared for people.
I remember watching my husband speak at the funeral. Still to this day there are no words.
I remember driving to Memphis the next day. Roger and I talked a lot about naming our baby - if it was a boy - after his dad. We talked about it a lot. We decided that Doc knew the baby's name to be James Sterling so that's what we kept.

Well, there are tons more memories flooding back now. So many people who loved us. So many!! I'll stop now because I could write for 2 hours. I miss Glenn Davis. It hurts that we have no pictures of him with ANY of his grandchildren. He would've loved them all! I miss Doc getting to see how amazing his wife is and what she's doing for the Kingdom. I miss most of all him getting to witness what an incredible husband, father and leader his son is. He would be so proud of Roger.

Okay, I'm done. this day will continue to be full of memories. I praying for my husband today as he remembers as well. I pray for our children that they will know through us the legacy Doc left. I miss him doing life with us.